I've been reading Marianne Williamson's Return to Love. Quite good. Simple. Refreshing and much wiser than I expected it to be. For me such a "return" is certainly on the 'to do list.' From now on it will be permanently on the list. In fact it's the only thing on the list.
I'm moving out of the romanticized, idealized egoistic love relationship that was my marriage. Kate and I are changing and growing into a new relationship. We are parents now and that changes everything. It's not the cause of our change, movement or transformation. Just a condition. But, oh dear God, what a wonderfully challenging and blessed condition.
Love remains elusive; yet I know that I love. Yet I never feel fully present. Especially to love. And yet again to my boys I am present fully in love, not that I couldn't express it more or better or more wisely. If I can't love them completely and fully, I'm not human or love doesn't exist.
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