The Evolved Habit of Objectification

When consciousness releases its attraction to the objects of the world and turns inward, it sees itself in its own source.  Here consciousness sees its essential Self and knows itself for the first time.  Consciousness becomes Self-consciousness or Awareness.  The question as to who I am is answered. This Heart of Awareness is the Sat-chit-ananda of Hindu philosophy.  This essence, this Cave of the Heart, is the very Being of Bliss Consciousness.  Yet often one presumably turns inward and sees nothing, feels no bliss, no Oneness nor anything remotely like the beautiful harmony of the All, of Life, of just Being itself.  Why?

 When consciousness turns inward it is likely to continue its habit, long evolved and conditioned, to objectify and seek consciousness as it seeks things in the world, as if it is external and independent of itself.  In short, we leave the self out of the equation of Self-consciousness.  We "think" we are looking inward, immanently, but are merely thinking consciousness as an object of thought rather than as our own self-aware Self.  When consciousness moves immanently inward it transcends objectification, that is, seeing as if things are separate and essentially unrelated to the Self.  But when such consciousness sees only what it is accustomed to seeing, namely what it thinks it should see, it alienates itself from itself and is disappointed because of the blisslessness of the experience.  When the self sees within but in the form of the ego that wants to have its cake and eat it too,  ego-consciousness continues to objectify and externalize itself as a thing, idea or mere expectation.  It remains unfulfilled for it has left itself out in turning inward.  Why?  For fear of not being in control of its world as a lifeless thing that it can manipulate, use, dispose of and thus continue to be the desirous self of craving, addiction, force and violence.  When the self sees itself as Seer, all else occurs within it and the holiness of the whole appears, appears as Oneself.  When the self egotistically imagines its true self as a new experience that it can have and yet be its old self without the suffering, it deludes itself and disappoints itself in its search.  Then the search itself appears to be false, a waste of time, pie-in-the-sky spiritualist fantasy.  Such an ego, such a false self, never knows itself nor feels the creation which is its own world.  It sees itself in a mirror only as reflection never seeing that the mirror is really point back to the self that it already is and knows, except for the false consciousness that sees objects where there is really life creating itself.  False consciousness is the victim of a false idea of self projected as something to be had rather than felt and lived as its own being and creation. 

How can we place ourselves outside ourselves and still know our self?  Who would be doing the knowing?  It is that knower that we need to feel consciously within ourselves not as object nor even as subject but as a Self that is free of all determinants and creates what it is and its world can be.